The Simpsons: Rainier Wolfcastle

By Wikipedia

Rainier Wolfcastle (voiced by Harry Shearer) is a fictional character featured in the television cartoon The Simpsons. He is a German-accented, muscle-bound actor obviously modeled on action star Arnold Schwarzenegger. This is due not only to his physique and action-hero persona, but also to the fact that his ex-wife, who appeared in one episode, is named Maria (as in Maria Shriver), and that he was seen at a gathering of members of the Quimby family, who are obviously modeled after the Kennedys. Wolfcastle is a veteran of many violent action movies, most notably the McBain series, but it is frequently suggested that his career currently is on the decline.

The character was originally referred to both within the show and by the production team as McBain, taken from the fictional franchise of action films the character appeared in of the same name. However, for a short time The Simpsons could not use the McBain name due to the fact that a movie of the same name (unrelated to The Simpsons character) was released in 1991. During this time the movie's producers refused to give Twentieth Century Fox and Matt Groening's production company clearance to use the McBain name, so the name of Rainier Wolfcastle was used to overcome this. Later, the use of McBain as both Wolfcastle's alter-ego and continuing series of films returned to the show.

The name Wolfcastle probably refers to the Castle Wolfenstein series of computer games (which are set in Nazi Germany), while Rainier is a spelling variant of Rainer, a common German given name. Also, Rainier is a common reference to Mt. Rainier, a large volcano close to Seattle, Washington. Most character names come from streets and landmarks near Portland, the hometown of Simpsons creator Matt Groening.

Rainier Wolfcastle has, in different Simpsons episodes, been a presenter at the Academy Awards, a spokesperson for the Powersauce energy bar, a celebrity judge in radio station KBBL's contest "How Low Will You Go" (along with Krusty the Klown and Madeleine Albright), and appeared on Inside the Actors Studio with James Lipton; he was married to Maria Quimby in the past, and his daughter Greta dated Bart in one episode. Wolfcastle has also been seen attending meetings at the Republican Party headquarters. He began his acting career as a child in a commercial for bratwurst in Austria:

Mein bratwurst has a first name,

It's F-r-i-t-z,

Mein bratwurst has a second name,

It's S-c-h-n-a-c-k-e-n-p-f-e-f-f-e-r-h-a-u-s-e-n

Apart from the McBain series, Wolfcastle also played Radioactive Man in an ill-fated live-action movie version of that comic book series.

Films of Rainier Wolfcastle

• Bloodletter IV (and presumably by extension Bloodletter, Bloodletter II and Bloodletter III)
• License to Detonate
• On the Fatherland's Secret Police
• View to a Corpse
• You Have the Right to Remain Dead
• Undercover Nerd
• McBain: Let's Get Silly
• Radioactive Man
• Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die
• Saving Irene Ryan
• Help, My Son Is A Nerd!
• My Baby Is an Ugly Man

Quotes

• "My new film is a mixture of action und comedy. It's called McBain: Let's Get Silly."
• (Expanding on McBain: Let's Get Silly:) "The film is just me in front of a brick wall for an hour and a half. It cost eighty million dollars."
• (After being asked by Jay Sherman how he sleeps at night) "On top of a big pile of money with many beautiful ladies."
• (Many hours after Jay Sherman tells him his shoes are untied, to distract him) "On closer inspection, these are loafers."
• "My Ferrari! I had to do awful things to pay for her."
• "Laughing time is over!"
• "I'm thinking of holding another meeting... in bed!"
• "My teenage son returns from a fancy East Coast college, and I'm horrified to discover he's a nerd. It's not a comedy."
• "Nice shirt. It makes you look like a homosexual." (after hearing audience booing, says to the audience) "Perhaps you are all homosexuals!"
• "Someone please, give me a job. I lowered my quote to $8 million. I do nude scene, I play nerd. Don't make me punch your throat!"
• (From Undercover Nerd) "Der geeks shall inherit the Earth."
• "Come, we play UNO, I chase you with hose, no biggie."
• (Wolfcastle getting coached to say "Up and Atom!", during the making of Radioactive Man movie) "Up and at-them."
• (As he is hit by a huge wave of acid): "My eyes...the goggles do nothing!"
• "Let my muscles hug you."
• "McBain to base! Under attack by commie-nazis!"
• (After hearing Krusty say "I'm just a plain old anti-semite") "We have so much to discuss."
• (After Homer asks him if any of his early porno videos are hetero) "What's there is there."

McBain Theme Song

The rules that constrain other men,
Mean nothing to McBain.
The punches that bring pain to other men,
Mean nothing to McBain.
McBain! McBain! McBain!

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